SKANKS VS CLASS
by ace9
Summary: Mutant X must battle Mutant Crabs to save Adam! COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

This is a spin-off from Eckhart's Truth Serum Reveals Too Much. This on core is dedicated to Krowl-fu in Australia, my biggest fan and new pen pal (a tear drops my eye). May God put those nasty bushfires out and put a smile on your face. Thanks again for all the great reviews everyone, and please don't hesitate to tell me my story is getting flat out stupid!!  
  
Brennan was three blocks from the underground still in a trance with the VIP pass around his neck and he didn't notice Ashlocke's Strand closing in on him.  
  
Brennan sprayed his mouth with breath spray and sniffed his armpits.  
  
When Brennan finally looked up there were five Strand members directly in front of him.  
  
"Damn! You bitches are H.O.T.! Rough Rough" (YES, Brennan was barking like a dog). "Did Adam sent you up here to greet me?"  
  
Two of the rebel mutants stepped aside and from the darkness walked Ashlocke.  
  
"Ashlocke, these are your bitches?" questioned Brennan.  
  
"Yes Brennan, and don't think for a second that VIP pass to Skanksville will get you anywhere near them. Take him ladies, we will use him as bait to shut down Adam's operation once and for all". Ashlocke motioned to his bitches.  
  
"Listen, you don't want to mess with me I am on steroids and extremely dangerous" said Brennan.  
  
Brennan sparked up some electricity in his hands, but realized he was no match for Ashlocke and his bitches so he took off running in the opposite direction. He cursed at himself. All he wanted was one night of sinful immoral orgies one-after-another. He was the good guy here.  
  
He couldn't understand why they were gaining on him. He felt so bloated. He was sweating profusely. At last his fat ass everyone jokes about had caught up with him. He tried to jump down a flight of stairs and his pants instantly ripped at the seams.  
  
"ADAM!! ADAM!!" Brennan yelled into his COM link in a panic.  
  
"Oh what the hell is it Brennan you need directions on how to work my bitches? Let them show you DAMN IT that is what they are paid for." Yelled Adam who was pissed Brennan's voice over the COM link interrupted him and Shalimar.  
  
Shalimar was aroused even more when she heard Brennan's voice and her eyes shot feral. Adam let out a slight moan as she began to go all animal on him.  
  
"Adam it is important. Ashlocke is chasing me down and I split my pants," said Brennan.  
  
"Ohhhh.What did I tell you Brennan about your mass size .. Ohhhh" moaned Adam.  
  
"Adam, are you having sex? Who is with you Adam? Adam, talk to me today was laundry day and I am not wearing any boxers." Said Brennan.  
  
MEANWHILE:  
  
"Hold still Emma" said Jesse as he tried to center the bowl on her head.  
  
"This is so uncomfortable," said Emma.  
  
"Well you are the one who likes your hair cut this way, this is the price you must pay." Jesse said as he chopped her bangs off even with the bowl.  
  
"There all done" said Jesse blowing gently on her neck to remove the hair. "You smell so good," said Jesse as he leaned in and kissed her neck softly.  
  
"Jesse, it is so late, are you sure we have enough time for this?" Emma said rolling her eyes behind his back.  
  
Instantly Adam and Shalimar came barging in. Adam was buttoning his jeans up and had major bed head.  
  
"We have an emergency," said Adam before adding "Emma, why are you wearing my cereal bowl on your head?"  
  
"I'll wash it before breakfast tomorrow" said Emma.  
  
"Fine there better not be any hair floating in my milk. You know how finicky I am, and you know the rules of sanctuary. No borrowing without permission," he added.  
  
"Brennan is surrounded by Ashlocke and some of his Grade A bitches. I am tracking his last location now. Take the helix, all of you and I will send you the coordinates."  
  
"Oh my God poor Brennan!" said Emma.  
  
"I am afraid it is worse than that. He ripped his pants," said Adam.  
  
Mutant X began to run out the door.  
  
"Try to snag as many of those bitches along with Brennan," yelled Adam. "Make me proud".  
  
"Hold up guys, I want to put my 5" pumps on instead of these running shoes. I will be there in one minute." Said Emma.  
  
"Okay Em, but hurry, Bren's life is at stake here." Said Jesse.  
  
As they approached the location of the coordinates from Brennan's COM link, Jesse noted, "Shalimar your shirt is on inside out and backwards."  
  
As they approached the scene, there was nothing there but Brennan's COM link and his VIP pass.  
  
"Adam" Shalimar called into her link "Its bad. Brennan is gone and he left his VIP pass and COM link behind".  
  
"This doesn't sound good," responded Adam. "Brennan has been known to leave his COM link behind but I know him well enough that the VIP pass being left is no coincidence. It is a sign from Ashlocke."  
  
"What do we do?" said Shalimar.  
  
"For now head back to sanctuary. I know Brennan would die for my cause but lets at least have a martini over it".  
  
Too Be Continued?? Or lets call it a day. 


	2. C2 Helix Malfunction

On the way back to sanctuary all the flashing lights inside the helix abruptly seized.  
  
"Shit!" said Jesse. He tried to act like he knew how to fix the problem but Emma read right through him.  
  
"Jesse, I thought we were not lying anymore. I know you don't have a clue how to fix the lights to the helix." Said Emma.  
  
"Your right, we are going to die. I am so scared!" Jesse said crouching down on the floor in a little ball sucking his thumb.  
  
The helix began to plummet to the earth's surface.  
  
MEANWHILE:  
  
Adam was back at sanctuary drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels. It would be rough making a decision between Brennan's life and giving up his business underground. He was hoping extreme intoxication would show him the path.  
  
"ADAM ADAM WERE GOING DOWN WERE GOING DOWN MAYDAY MAYDAY I DON'T WANNA DIE!" yelled Jesse. "AHHHH!" Jesse screamed. AHHHH! He screamed again.  
  
"Emma, calm down quit screaming I can't hear Jesse" said Adam.  
  
"That was Jesse," said Emma.  
  
"OH! What is it Jess, what is the malfunction!" Adam demanded in a panic. He hoped he wasn't too drunk to give proper instructions.  
  
Shalimar put her hands on her head and began screaming like a bleach-blond with big boobs in a cheesy scary porn flick.  
  
"All of the flashing lights on the ceiling and floor of the helix went out and we are headed straight down!" yelled Jesse.  
  
"Any chance you can land on a liquor store?" said Adam.  
  
AHHHH! Jesse began screaming like a bitch again.  
  
"Okay Jesse one problem at a time. We can do this together as a team. First of all, those lights are just for show. They make the helix look more like a crazy sci fi flying machine as opposed to a cardboard box. Swing by Wal- Mart and pick up some black light bulbs and I will fix them when you get back."  
  
"Than why are we about to smash into the earth? Said Emma.  
  
"Who is steering the helix?" asked Adam.  
  
"Well Jesse was but..."  
  
"You mutants can't do anything without me. Don't forget my whiskey!" shouted Adam as he too curled up on the floor in a ball in the same pattern Jesse did.  
  
"Man that was close!" Jesse said.  
  
"Jesse get your hands off my tits" said Shalimar once she realized she wasn't in harms way and stopped screeching.  
  
"Sorry Shalimar, I felt they were the largest hardest objects closest to me to hold on to!" said Jesse.  
  
Adam finally realized that his team desperately needed him. They would be lost without him. He was like their daddy. "Pimp Daddy" Adam said laughing remembering the memory of Brennan and how he had used that title when he first found out about Adam's bitches. He took several more swigs of the liquor and began to drift into deep thought.  
  
His mind went to the first episode of Mutant X. I mean, to the first time Mutant X met. Man Adam was drunk. He recalled first seeing Brennan on that escalator with Emma. He remembered seeing Brennan dragged off by Thorne and his GSA agents. Damn he was skinny than! Now it would take eight guys the size of Thorne to drag him anywhere! He remembered trying to persuade Emma to join his forces of good. He remembered her standing on the escalator calling for Brennan wearing that red bra and red pumps with only a jean jacket over it and the lowest cut jeans he had ever seen. He remembers her panties sticking out. Soft, white panties. Or no wait, were they beige? He than began to fantasize he was the one being dragged off by Thorne.  
  
"Adam" Emma cried out for his release in her bright red fire hot lipstick and once again that red bra and red pumps. "Adam" everything focused in on those lips.  
  
"Adam! Adam! Wake up. Damn it he is drunk again what are we going to do now? We can't make any decisions for ourselves" said Jesse. "Adam, we need you to wake up" Jesse was shaking Adam forcefully.  
  
"Should we pull his pants up and spare him the disgrace this time?" said Shalimar.  
  
Adam instantly awoke. "Emma I was just thinking about you" he slurred.  
  
"We got that much from the stains on your pants" said Jesse with a little bit of jealousy in his voice.  
  
Shalimar licked her lips. "You guys go get some sleep. I will tuck Adam in," The moment Jesse and Emma left the room Shalimar pounced down on Adam.  
  
"You have been very naughty Adam. I must punish you!" Shalimar said.  
  
"NO, PLEASE don't punish me, I'll be good from now on I promise." Adam said  
  
"Too late bad boy. You dirty little boy" Shalimar said.  
  
XXX 


	3. C3 Bring It!

IN THE LAB:  
  
"Adam wake up!" yelled Emma. "It is almost noon. When are you going to crawl out of your hangover? Brennan needs our help".  
  
"Stop shouting Emma. I have been awake for the past hour. I have already taken care of Brennan." Adam said itching his chest and his privates.  
  
"Adam why are you scratching yourself?" questioned Emma.  
  
"Well, I am not quite sure. I woke up and Shalimar was on top of me last night so that probably would explain the genital itch, but not my chest." Said Adam.  
  
"You did it with her again? Adam you promised last time it was my turn!" said Emma.  
  
"I know love, but remember, no secrets!"  
  
"This might explain my chest itch," he said pointing to several empty syringes lying all over the lab. "I think I got drunk and was looking for a better high. I am lucky to be here. With all these broken beakers I can't be sure what I injected myself with or what kind of reaction I may have. Therefore we will be staying here today. I need you to observe my behavior. Watch for signs for anything out of the ordinary."  
  
"Who is going to save Bren?" asked Emma.  
  
"Back up is already headed to the Stand. I have been forced to send my bitches in. Lets hope they can get the job done quick, this is coming out of my pocket". ....  
  
SKANK VS CLASS - THE STRAND  
  
Adam's team of bitches' aka skanks already had The Strand Compound surrounded. Ashloke's Classy ladies were already out of the compound confronting them. Their women leader led the Strand nose-to-nose to Adam's skanks.  
  
"We are hear for the Mutant X member, and to claim these streets," said the skank leader.  
  
"You will not get the Mutant X member, and you will crawl back underground. (Sniff, sniff) I smell your stench. You're contaminating our air and our customers."  
  
"What you smell is that three-day-old rag between your legs BITCH"  
  
"Bring It On!" said classy leader.  
  
"Oh, it has already been brought!" announced skank leader.  
  
And so the rumble began. Bra snapping, hair pulling, biting, and scratching. You name it! Adam's skanks did not play by any rules.  
  
Two of Adam's skanks made it into the compound and found Brennan tied up with rope. They hurriedly untied his hands as he slowly awoke from sleep.  
  
"Brennan Mulwray?" said a skank.  
  
Brennan opened his eyes up and let out a yelp before backing into a corner.  
  
"Stay away from me. Whatever you are. Whoever you are! What the hell do you want from me?"  
  
"Shhhh we are hear to help" whispered a skank.  
  
"Help yourself for the love of God. Never in my life! What the hell is that on your face?"  
  
"It is a birth mark." She said smiling.  
  
"Birth mark my ASS! Since when do birth marks have massive hair sprouting from them!"  
  
"Adam said he was verbal," giggled one skank to the other. "Come on big boy, let's get you safe and than you can explore all the defects of my body" smiled the skank.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL! Where are your teeth?" Brennan shouted.  
  
"Oh, I can put them in later good-looking just most of my customers compliment my performance without them. Use your imagination," the skank said to Brennan.  
  
Poor disgusted Brennan was unsure who these bitches were but he knew one thing, he would much rather take his chances with Ashlocke's hotties.  
  
Brennan shot one of them with electricity. He was about to shoot the other skank when she ran off.  
  
"Adam, I am afraid your Mutant X member has traded sides! He is working with the enemy now" she hollered into her COM link. . Did Brennan switch teams? If so, can you blame him? What is wrong with Adam? All good questions. 


	4. C4 CRABS THAT IS!

Emma walked into the lab and caught Adam with his shirt off, pants unbuttoned, and a magnifying glass.  
  
"What the hell are you doing Adam?" she questioned.  
  
"Oh, hey Em, come over here my little lab assistant, I am in need of assistance" he said smiling bigger than usual.  
  
"Adam there is a twinkle in your eye!" she said smiling back.  
  
"Here, look closely, see them?" Emma looked closely into Adam's pubic area and saw small crab-like parasites that were whitish-gray and rust colored.  
  
"Adam you have crabs?" Emma said all sickened and all the sudden feeling itchy herself.  
  
"Oh relax Emma. Why worry about crabs?" said Adam all laid back. (Yes, he was drinking again. Emma could smell it on his breath. Sadly it was only 8:36 am.)  
  
"Adam, You may get a secondary infection as a result of scratching. There is a cream rinse, called premethrin, which you apply to the affected area and wash off after 10 minutes " Emma said all knowledgeable.  
  
"Listen Em, The scientific name for crabs is Pediculus pubis. Crabs need blood to survive. Crabs have three very distinct phases: egg, nit, and the third phase is called the louse, and is the parasite that causes itching. Louse is the singular for lice (like mouse and mice). The most common symptom of crabs is itching in your pubic area. The itching is caused by an allergic reaction to the bites," said Adam. Emma was pissed now.  
  
"Adam your drunk and you are a babbling idiot!"  
  
"No Em, you don't get it. These crabs are from Shalimar. They sucked her blood before getting on me and have since sucked my blood. Therefore there is a scientific discovery here. These are special Mutant Crabs! Since they got me I am so unsure what will become of me. I may be infected!"  
  
Emma was just not getting it. Adam took a big guzzle of liquor before pulling her into him closely.  
  
"ADAM GROSS DON'T TOUCH ME!" she shouted.  
  
"What is it that time of month for you sexy? You know I don't mind at all," Adam said. "  
  
ADAM YOU HAVE CRABS." She took a deep breath to calm her down. "Listen Adam, the second you get rid of those things I will be more than happy to feed your sexual desires".  
  
"No Way!" he shouted. He was starting to slur already. "These crabs are special and they are not going anywhere!"  
  
"Its them or me Adam. Let me know when you change your mind" Emma said storming out.  
  
"What a bitch" Adam said lighting up a cigarette.  
  
"Shalimar" he slurred into his COM link.  
  
"Yeah Adam what's up!" Shalimar said.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" he slurred.  
  
"Running. I am in the middle of my morning workout. Why?"  
  
"Run your fine ass into my lab on the double". Adam said as his eyes shot feral yellow.  
  
  
  
Will Adam pick Mutant crabs or Emma? What will happen to Adam? What will these Mutant Crabs mutate into and where the hell is Brennan? All stupid questions. I stole my info on crabs off some doctor's website. Special thanks to the doc! (Or you can just think the writer of this story has them LOL) 


	5. C5 Formula Time!

Reviews are saying you want more of Jesse and Brennan. You ladies are so obsessed with these young men. As my mother used to tell me "He wouldn't pee on you". Whatever that means right. If Brennan peed on me I'd wipe it off with a towel and store the towel in a plastic baggie for all eternity. On with the show & dedicated to elemental-sparky.  
  
IN THE LAB STILL..  
  
Shalimar walked into the lab expecting a bootie call. However, Adam was so drunk he forgot he wanted sex and was at his desk scribbling diagraphs and equations. There were crumbled papers all over the floor.  
  
Shalimar leaned over Adam's shoulder to read a piece of paper that said:  
  
ASHLOCKE + SHALIMAR = MC X 2  
  
ADAM + SHALIMAR = SMC  
  
ADAM + SMC = CLASS = $$$  
  
"Adam what the hell are you doing, what are these formulas?" asked Shalimar.  
  
"Oh, hey Shal, just the girl I wanted to see. I need you for a special assignment." Slurred Adam.  
  
"OHHHH special I like the sound of that!" said Shalimar.  
  
"Check this formula out Shal, if you have sex with Ashlocke you will give him mutant crabs. But than you have to give the eggs time to hatch and bite him so five days from that you have to have sex with him again to get some of those crabs back. That is how you get the MC X2" he said pointing.  
  
"Than I need you to come back here immediately and have sex with me. Immediately after sex I will put crème on your genitals and clean you up. Now the third formula is the punch line. If those now super mutant crabs that bit Ashlocke bite me they will hopefully give me Ashlocke's powers including his mind control. With his powers I can steal all his Class A bitches which equals MORE MONEY!" Adam said.  
  
Shalimar was really confused. Super mutant crabs, Adam having Ashlocke's powers. None of it made any sense. She did like the idea Adam was giving her approval to have sex with Ashlocke. He was even going to reward her afterwards by giving her a bath. She loved when he put whip cream on her and this time he was going to give her money for it.  
  
"So Adam how do you know this theory will work."  
  
"I don't, but what do we have to lose besides Ashlocke rejecting your sexual advance and killing you?" said Adam.  
  
"No one and I mean NO ONE rejects me Adam."  
  
"That is what I am counting on sexy thing!" smiled Adam.  
  
One Hour Later (Got this from you Emma 0211 Special Shout Out)  
  
Shalimar had fought her way through the class A bitches and Adam's skanks and into the compound and was already working it with Ashlocke.  
  
Two Doors Down  
  
Brennan took his shirt off and tied it around his waist to cover his ripped pants. He started to flex his muscles but stopped when he realized he didn't take his shirt off this time for better ratings.  
  
He began to make his way out of the compound. He hoped there were not anymore of those skanks around. Little did he know there were several outside...  
  
Five Seconds Later  
  
Brennan accidentally opened the door to Ashlocke's room looking for a way out and found Ashlocke smacking Shalimar's bare ass saying "Who's your daddy".  
  
"What the hell are you doing Shalimar?" said Brennan.  
  
"Brennan! Thank God you are alive. I am on a special assignment for Adam. Get the hell out of her I will see you back at sanctuary." Said Shalimar.  
  
Brennan new this wasn't the time for questions. Shalimar was a big girl and could handle herself. "Man I am glad I never f***** Shal. What a slut" he whispered to himself as he shut the door.  
  
Little did he know her super feral hearing heard ever word. Those words pissed her off. He was going to pay for that comment.  
  
Five Minutes Later  
  
Brennan opened the right door to get out of the compound and guess what?  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...... Promises of Brennan and Jesse. Find out what happens to Brennan. 


	6. C6: Maggots & Mice OH MY

Disclaimer: Everyone else does this so I felt I had to do it to be cool. I don't own Mutant X, but if I did Brennan would be forever chained to my bed and I would pimp out Jesse for all of you.  
  
OUTSIDE THE STRAND.  
  
Brennan stepped out to what looked like a war zone. There were fine bitches everywhere and watching them fight aroused Brennan. Do to the fact that his pants were ripped he knew he could not risk getting a stiffy because he would be completely exposed. Therefore he was forced to look at the skanks instead.  
  
It was torture for Brennan. His eyes were filled with tears. His stomach was weak. Something inside of him told him he had to keep going.  
  
"Don't give up hope Brennan. You can get through this," he whispered to himself.  
  
Suddenly a skank jumped on his back.  
  
"Lets get him girls. If he won't come willing will have to force him".  
  
A mass of skanks were charging at Brennan. He flung the bitch off his back and shot one with his powers. He knew this was a battle he could not win. He had not had a steroid shot in awhile and he was weak.  
  
Just as the skanks reached Brennan, he disappeared.  
  
"Where did he go?" said a skank.  
  
"Where did who go?" the other skank said forgetting what they were doing already.  
  
He reappeared a half a block away with Jesse holding his hand.  
  
"Oh man, thanks brother" Brennan said appreciative. "You don't know what I was up against." Brennan said breathing heavy.  
  
"I have a pretty good idea," Jesse said before breaking into laughter.  
  
"It is NOT funny Jesse. Did Adam send you?" asked Brennan.  
  
"No, actually I was just in the area," said Jesse. "Hop in I will give you a ride back to sanctuary."  
  
"Why are you driving Emma's car?" Brennan asked.  
  
"Oh, she sent me out to clean it for her. I was on my way to the car wash," said Jesse.  
  
EMMA'S CAR.  
  
Brennan opened the door to Emma's car and two McDonald's bags fell out getting barbecue sauce on his shoe. There were fast food bags all over the passenger seat and floor. He had to scrap a half eaten cheeseburger off the seat and remove several crumbs before sitting down.  
  
"DAMN! I love Emma to death but she is such a slob! This is so nasty." Brennan said turning his nose up. "And what the HELL is that smell? I can't believe Em would have the audacity to expect you to clean up her shit."  
  
"I really don't mind Brennan" Jesse said serenely.  
  
"Jesse, I am sick of this. I am SO sick of you sniffing Emma's tail when she is so up Adam's ass. I am going to get you a date and there no buts about it" Brennan said rolling down the window whistling.  
  
"YO BITCH!" he yelled to the bitches still fighting even though every last one of them had forgot the purpose of it all.  
  
"Yeah Baby!" a skank answered.  
  
"Not you ho, the hottie, Ashlocke's bitch" he said pointing to a rather hot Latino.  
  
BACK IN THE LAB.  
  
Adam had just woke up & Emma brought him a cup of coffee instantly.  
  
"Oh, thanks my love." He said sipping it trying to shake off his hangover.  
  
"Where is everyone?" he said calmly.  
  
"Remember Adam, Brennan was captured by Ashlocke and Jesse just stepped out." Emma said.  
  
"Well, were is Shalimar?" Adam asked.  
  
"Adam, she left awhile ago. She said you had a special mission for her," Emma said as she casually walked out of the lab.  
  
"Special mission? I did no such thing," he said as he pulled a bottle of whiskey from his drawer and emptied in into his coffee mug. He guzzled the cup down and lit a cigarette. "Shalimar better not be out whoring around" he said scratching his privates.  
  
EMMA'S CAR AGAIN.  
  
"Thanks Brennan" Jesse said smiling at the phone number in his hand as he placed it in his back pocket.  
  
Squeak Squeak  
  
"Jesse what the hell is that noise?" Brennan said. At that moment a mouse ran across Jesse's shoe.  
  
"AHHHHHH!" Jesse screamed like a girl and quickly jumped out of the car.  
  
Now Brennan was laughing at him. "You are such a bitch," said Brennan laughing hysterically. Brennan felt something fall from his hair on to his neck. He flicked his neck and shook his hair to see maggots fall to the ground.  
  
"AHHHHHH!" Brennan screamed in an even more high-pitch than Jesse and jumped out of the car.  
  
"Who is the bitch now!" laughed Jesse. He too felt something crawling in his hair.  
  
"AHHHHH!" cried Jesse topping both their feminine screams.  
  
To Be Continued. Brennan is pissed at Adam for leaving him there-find out what he does and much MUCH more. 


	7. C7: ReGroup

Back at sanctuary...  
  
Shalimar beat Jesse and Brennan back to sanctuary. She actually felt gross. She had slept with many men before, okay half the population on earth, but this time she didn't enjoy it. She felt used. She instantly jumped in the shower and scrubbed her face and body.  
  
In The Lab...  
  
Adam was drunk again, and showing off his other side.  
  
"Emma, get your ass in here NOW!" he slurred.  
  
Emma knew he was drunk again. She ran as fast as she could to the lab. She didn't want him hurting himself. Adam was starring at her when she jogged in.  
  
"Yeah Adam, what is wrong!" she said worried.  
  
"Hmmmm. Do that again Emma" Adam slurred.  
  
"Do what again?" she asked puzzled.  
  
"Step out of the lab for a second" Adam slurred.  
  
Emma didn't understand what he was getting at but stepped back out any way. Adam was the boss.  
  
"Hurry Emma, get your ass in here!" he yelled.  
  
Emma ran back into the lab and threw her hands up. Was this a sick joke?  
  
"Hmm. just what I suspected" Adam said. "They have no bounce to them."  
  
"Adam!"  
  
"Where the hell is Shalimar? I need her to run in here?" he said as he took another swig of booze.  
  
In The Hall...  
  
Laughter of Jesse and Brennan filled the halls as they got back to sanctuary. They had done some male bonding on their long walk back.  
  
"Thanks again" Jesse said running off to his room. "I am going to call her right now!"  
  
"Good for you Jes!" Brennan said rounding the corner.  
  
Shalimar had heard the commotion and stepped into the hall with her robe and a towel on her head.  
  
Her and Brennan almost bumped into each other.  
  
Brennan was knocked back onto his ass. "Who the hell are you? How the hell did you get in here?" Brennan demanded to know sparking up some electricity in his palms.  
  
"Brennan relax, it is me, it is Shalimar" she said throwing her hands up.  
  
"NO, Shalimar is back at the Strand. You are an imposter, Shalimar is way more sexy than you!" he said getting ready to release his power.  
  
"Brennan, I am not wearing any make-up." she said smiling.  
  
"For the love of..... don't every do that to me again Shal. You nearly scared me to death!" Brennan said standing up.  
  
"Sorry, I will go put my usual four coats on now" she said fluffing her hair with the towel.  
  
"Shal, are you okay? I mean, Adam had no right sending you in there like that you could of got killed. Not to mention what he asked you to do was so wrong. Adam is just not himself anymore. I am going to have a word with him now" Brennan said grabbing her and hugging her.  
  
"That's so sweet Bren, you know I still have a little energy left if you want to..." Brennan put his hand over her lips.  
  
"Your damaged goods Shal, it will never happen" he said removing his hand and walking away.  
  
Back In The Lab...  
  
"Adam get your hands off me NOW!" Emma cried.  
  
"Come on Emma, share these crabs with me. They are powerful, they will change both our lives" Adam said grabbing her ass.  
  
Brennan stormed in hearing the commotion. "Get your hands off her NOW! Brennan demanded.  
  
"Oh Brennan, are you jealous because your the only one who hasn't got any action around here" he slurred.  
  
"Adam were the hell were you when I was captured?" Brennan said grabbing Emma by the arm and tugging her out of Adam's grip"  
  
"Don't you touch her she is my lay!" Adam slurred.  
  
"Is it true Em? Do you wanna lay with this used up drunk piece of crap?"  
  
Emma began crying and shook her head no. She cuddled into Brennan and sobbed.  
  
"Em, get the hell out of here, I will take care of this!" he said kissing Emma on the head and releasing her.  
  
As Brennan watched Emma leave the lab safely, Adam had pulled an empty whiskey bottle from his drawer. The moment Brennan turned back around he was hit in the head with the bottle, glass shattering everywhere.  
  
TBC.... 


	8. C8: Ugly

I am sad. My first story was a big success and this one seems to be flopping. Maybe it was the name. Hope I didn't offend any skanks out there. We are all sisters you know. Oh well. I will wrap it up soon, thanks to you few (you know who you are. This is special & long................titled Ugly.  
  
(back flash, Adam hit Brennan in the head with his JD bottle) No wait, I am switching my booze of choice to Southern Comfort now, cause Krowl fu has JD in her story. We don't want this to be a cliche.  
  
Brennan turned around in disbelieve. How could Adam of all people treat him this way? It was one think setting him up with those skanky bitches, than leaving him at the Strand, but this took the show.  
  
"I am on steroids you bastard, it is going to take more than that to bring me down!" Brennan said irritably pumped.  
  
"Come on now Brennan, you haven't had your shot in a few days. Besides knowing your weaknesses I know you must be feeling drained." Adam said holding a sharp piece of glass in his hand and noticeably swaying back and forth.  
  
"Adam, your drunk and you're an elderly. I can bring you down blindfolded" snickered Brennan.  
  
"Care to back up your words or are you full of shit?" cackled Adam.  
  
"Adam your drunk, I don't want to hurt you old man, but I will," said Brennan hesitating this fight. "Why don't you go back to your usual routine, peeking and pooping in your old folks diaper. Or maybe you should get creative and go soak your dentures."  
  
"I already soaked my dentures last night pecker" thought Adam.  
  
Emma ran to Shalimar's room and immediately informed her of the situation going on in the lab. Shalimar looked at her make-up kit, than to Emma's face, than back to her make-up kit. Oh what the hell, they were all family. Shalimar knew Brennan could handle Adam; she was just being extremely nosy. Shalimar ran to the lab.  
  
Adam and Brennan were still at a stands. As Shalimar walked in Adam dropped the glass to say, "Who the HELL are you!" Adam may have been drunk but he was very territorial about strangers in sanctuary.  
  
"It's me Shal!" she said confused. Why didn't anyone recognize her without her make-up? She pretty much looked the same?  
  
"Oh Lord" Brennan said without looking back at Shalimar. "Your on Adam, somebody get me a blindfold, and make it quick!"  
  
"Blindfold for what?" Jesse said as he innocently walked into the lab not knowing of the commotion. The moment he saw Shalimar he instinctively phased.  
  
"What are you doing Jesse? I don't appreciate your guys' sick humor! You're starting to offend me," she said getting agitated.  
  
"Hah! I am afraid you're the offender!" Brennan said sickened.  
  
"Shal? I didn't even recognize you!" Jesse said unphasing.  
  
"Jesse, blindfold Brennan!" Adam said as he took a swig of his Southern Comfort. Emma forgot to bring him his coffee mug this time so straight from a new bottle it was.  
  
Emma was headed back to the lab with a garbage bag. She was picking up all the empty whiskey bottles left lying around everywhere. It was her turn for clean-up duty anyway and kept her mind of Adam and his mutant crabs. She heard a burp in her mind. She was in someones thoughts. She walked over to the sofa and found Adam's coffee mug. Who's mind or minds was she in? She read something again: "burp, Adam has fine taste in houch". Emma looked into the mug to find a very visible crab floating in the leftover drops of Southern Comfort in his mug.  
  
Just as Jesse blindfolded Brennan and his ego, Brennan stood on one leg and put his arms out like Karate Kid. His plan was to kick Adam in the face once, knocking his ass out.  
  
Emma walked in with her garbage bag and Shalimar hushed Emma with her finger as they all watched in entertainment.  
  
Adam's eye's shot feral, and he did two flips and three kicks into Brennan's chest and face. Brennan never saw what was coming. All three members of Mutant X stood in disbelief. If Adam wasn't wasted he would of got the third flip off. Instead, he clumsily swayed and landed directly into Shalimar, knocking her down and landing directly on top of her. He stayed there in a trance for a minute or so forgetting his main objective.  
  
"Oh Shal" he moaned eyes out-of-focus. "You have such a nice rack" he said cupping her breast into his hand. Shalimar felt something sticking her in the hip bone.  
  
Adam's eyes got into focus as he looked at Shalimar. Adam was confused again. Who the hell was this? She wasn't very attractive. Oh well, she would do.  
  
Emma was so sick of this. She sent Jesse and Brennan visuals of the crabs crawling all over Adam. She sent them a subliminal memo attached that read: WE MUST GET THESE OFF ADAM, THEY ARE WHAT IS EFFECTING HIS BEHAVIOR!"  
  
Jesse and Adam cringed at the thought but knew this was necessary. We must let the necessary occur Yep!  
  
Brennan surprisingly was not bleeding from the beating. Is that a surprise? None of them every do. I am starting to wonder if Mutants have blood like us humans.  
  
Brennan strapped on some latex gloves and a face mask, and picked up some tweezers and a magnifying glass that incidentally was sitting out on the table anyway.  
  
"Grab him!" said Brennan.  
  
Emma and Jesse pulled Adam off Shal who was so much enjoying the attention without her war paint that she already had his pants unzipped.  
  
"Thanks for helping Shal, step one complete. Step two." said Jesse.  
  
The layed him down on the examination table. Emma gave him a big swig of JD, I mean Southern Comfort, which was in his favorite coffee mug.  
  
"Thanks for the refill bitch. Few more drinks and I won't care who's public hair I infest." said Mutant Crap to Emma. He was kind of cute. Emma quickly snatched him out of the mug before Adam drank him. He would make a great friend to talk to when everyone else was out kicking ass.  
  
"What the helllll are you doing?"  
  
"Adam, we are going to perform a simple procedure on you. Brennan is going to use tweezers to remove all crabs spotted, than we will apply some cream to kill of the rest of these parasites" said Emma.  
  
"NO DAMN IT! NOT MY CRABS, SHALIMAR STOP THEM. DON'T LET THEM HURT OUR CRABS, WE MADE THEM-THEY ARE SOOOO SPECIAL"  
  
"Emma we don't have any cream for crab removal" commented Brennan.  
  
"Why not use my hair dye? I have a new box in the bathroom, bleach kills germs" said Shalimar. This was the brightest thing she every came up with.  
  
"Good thinking Shalimar! Lets do it!"  
  
Shal ran down the hall to get her dye while Brennan shined the spot light on Adam's now bare chest. Emma noticed Adam was wearing his Superman boxers. Incidentally, he had the same pair on since she bought them for him last Christmas.  
  
"NO"...moaned Adam. "Adam plus super mutant crabs equals class equals money...." Adam passed the f*** out. 


	9. C9: Mystery

"This isn't going to work!" Brennan said motioning for Emma to wipe the sweat from his forehead.  
  
"I am afraid there isn't enough dye here for the amount of hair we are looking at."  
  
Jesse looked in closely at Adam's chest hair and the other hair...  
  
"Wow, I never realized how hairy Adam was. There is a LOT here. What can we do?"  
  
"Shal, do you have a reserve bleach kit?" Brennan said trying to analyze their options. It wasn't often they had to think for themselves. Adam was the one who did it for them.  
  
"No, that was my reserve!" Shal said sadly still pulling her hair up and focusing in on the black line on her skull.  
  
"Break time than, Jes,go get more dye."............  
  
Jesse wasn't a pro at picking out hair products, he grabbed the closest and cheapest shade in the super market lane...........  
  
Back at the lab...  
  
The operation, or whatever you want to call it was a success!! All team members wanted to make sure of this and to do so they left the bleach blond Shal color and Jesse's mystery color in Adam's chest hair and pubic area on for a total of two hours, twenty-five minutes, and sixty seconds...  
  
Adam had woke several times during the procedure and beautiful Emma was there by his side, giving him swigs of Southern Comfort at demand.  
  
Shalimar was not much help during the procedure, she was to busy observing in the mirror at her dark roots.  
  
TBC... What color is Adam's chest and pubic hairs? I think you will be shocked, and it may just be a color to attract Ashlocke's bitches. 


	10. C10: Mystery Revealed

Sorry I am so cruel to Adam for you Adam lovers out there. Are there any Adam lovers out there? I am sorry; he just gives me the CREEPS!  
  
"Shalimar, stop obsessing over your black roots. They match your eyebrows you know," said Emma.  
  
"Emma your just jealous I am more pretty than you and get all the guys" said Shalimar.  
  
"No offense Shalimar, but you have way too many miles on your ass" said Emma. "Is there anyone in this world you have not slept with yet?" questioned Emma.  
  
Shalimar had to think about this one. "Yeah, there is one, Brennan. But mark my words, I will have him before this story is over" said Shalimar all high and mighty.  
  
"Not if the author of this story has anything to do with it!" hissed Emma.  
  
"Since when do you compare us to cars anyway?" said Shalimar.  
  
Jesse walked in unusually well dressed and smiling. "You are both lemons to me," said Jesse.  
  
This comment pissed Emma off. She was thinking about asking Jesse to go steady. Yes, he sucked in bed, but other than that he was a great guy. She was tired of Adam anyway. After the crab thing she thought she just couldn't handle giving it up to him anymore.  
  
"Why are you all dressed up? You smell nice" Shalimar said.  
  
"I have a date with one of Ashlocke's hotties. Her name is Loclita and she is Latin," boasted Jesse.  
  
"I can't believe you would stoop that low to sleep with one of Ashlocke's bitches" spat Shalimar.  
  
"First of all, I am going on a date with her not sleeping with her. Secondly, I stooped low enough to have sex with you Shal, nothing could get lower than that" Jesse said leaving the room.  
  
In the lab..  
  
Adam woke up with a sheet over him, naked except for a pair of white undies that were wet. Brennan had forgot to put his Depend on after the procedure and he had an accident while he was sleeping. "What the." he said confused. Once again he couldn't remember anything from the night before of partying. His blackout spells were getting worse by the day. He was going to have to do a scan on his liver again. It was possible it was in need for repairs.  
  
Adam lifted the sheet from his body and looked down at his chest hair and public hair.. "Emma! Get your ass in her now!" Adam demanded into his COM link.  
  
In the shower.  
  
Brennan couldn't get over the horrible images of Adam naked. He had to do it for the team. Without Adam he would be forced to grow up, get a real job, and make his own decisions. He kept having flashbacks of running his hands through Adam's pubic hair. HAIR. All that hair. Black and curly. Big thick patches running all the way up his chest and down his back. Tears filled Brennan's eyes as he threw a match in the trashcan that had his clothes on that he was wearing. The clothing ignited into flames. Brennan crotched down into the shower and began to cry.  
  
Back in the lab..  
  
Adam pondered in disbelief looking at his new color of body hair. This was just what he needed. This color for sure would get him Ashlocke's hotties. Adam knew this color improved his self worth. Any money hungry bitch would flock to him like flies on sh**.  
  
Meanwhile in Emma's room...  
  
"Oh, are you hungry?" she said to Mutant Crab.  
  
"I am always hungry bitch," said Mutant Crab.  
  
"Let mommy feed you" Emma said gently placing the crab into her panties. "I put on my woolliest pair of underwear in case you need a nap. You will stay nice and warm!" Emma said.  
  
"hahaha" that tickles giggled Emma.  
  
"Emma, get your ass in here now!" Adam's voice came over her COM link.  
  
What the hell did he want now.Probably his coffee mug.  
  
"Damn it stinks in here, let me out" demanded Mutant Crab. Emma did so like a good mother and placed him on her pillow.  
  
"Put me in Adam's whiskey mug. I don't like you bitch," said Mutant Crab.  
  
Emma sniffled a little. No one liked here. She knew exactly why everyone else left her behind on missions. Mutant Crab didn't want to hang out with her, he would rather be with Adam of all people. Jesse had a new date. Shalimar was too much competition. Brennan was always to busy with his ego.  
  
Enough self-pity for now, Emma stood and headed to the kitchen to retrieve Adam's coffee mug.  
  
Back in the lab.  
  
Shalimar skipped by the lab and stopped in disbelief. Her eyes shot feral. She licked her lips. She unbuttoned three buttons on her polyester Kmart shirt and entered the lab.  
  
"Adam, I have been thinking about us and I think we should take our relationship to another level. I can't get you off my mind. I want to be more than sexual partners," Shalimar said. Greed and dollar signs were in her eyes.  
  
"Back off skank!" spat Adam. "I know what you are after. With my new look I can get any female or male of my choice. No more settling for less and that includes you."  
  
Adam looked into the mirror (if there wasn't a mirror in sanctuary before there is now) and ran his fingers through his solid gold chest hair. Can you say million-dollar man?  
  
TBC... 


	11. C666 Cracking UP!

In the kitchen.  
  
Emma was humming over Adam's coffee cup as she washed it in the sink. Was this all to life? Washing Adam's dishes all the time and cleaning up everyone's mess? Always the joke of the party - always the one left behind.  
  
Emma began humming again as she drowned the Mutant Crab in the sink.  
  
"You like that huh? You like that? Drink some of that pig. DRINK IT!"  
  
Still in the shower.  
  
No more hot water. Damn it. I thought elementals hated water. Brennan was trapped. The garbage that he set fire too had burned out of control while he was busy crying a river.  
  
"Shal, get in here quick, I am trapped by fire in my bathroom" Brennan yelled. Why he would call on a feral that was scared of fire will remain a mystery.  
  
Shalimar was just passing by his room when his voice came on the COM link. Usually her feral instinct would pick up the smell of fire, but her heart was crushed from Adam's rejection and she was too self involved to notice or care.  
  
"Brennan is that you?"  
  
"Yes it is me, who the hell else would it be?" Brennan said short-fused.  
  
Shalimar didn't really care. So what if Brennan died in a fire? He always rejected her anyway. This rejection was really putting a dent in her popularity. Okay Shalimar to the rescue. "He better be naked".  
  
Shalimar entered the bathroom full of flames. Poor Brennan was in the shower pointing the nozzle of the showerhead at the fire.  
  
"HELP!" he said to Shaimar.  
  
She was too busy looking at Brennan's package, or lack there of.  
  
"Damn Brennan, all this time I wanted you and there really isn't anything there worth the effort I have put in."  
  
"Shal, I am soaking wet, water shrinks things, hurry up and put this fire out!"  
  
"Brennan I am scared of fire you idiot," she said flipping her hair and still staring down yonder.  
  
"Go get Jesse than!"  
  
"Brennan he left. He had a date with some bitch named LowClit. Name fits her like a glove." Shalimar laughed.  
  
"Her name is Loclita you dumb blonde. Go get Adam" Brennan said with fear in his voice. Fire would really hurt his appearance.  
  
"You know Adam doesn't give a damn. Why waste the effort?" said Shalimar.  
  
"Emma than!"  
  
"Fine whatever!" Shalimar left looking for Emma. She found her in the kitchen surprisingly. That girl never ate. (So Shalimar thought. She snuck out of sanctuary many of times to eat in privacy. That explains all the fast food bags that Jesse and Brennan stumbled on earlier.)  
  
In the kitchen.  
  
"Quick Emma, Brennan's bathroom is on fire and he is trapped in the shower!" yelled Shalimar.  
  
"There are fire extinguishers all over sanctuary. Find one with your name on it and use it!" yelled Emma who was obviously ready to start her monthly cycle.  
  
In the hall.  
  
Shalimar was running down the hall shaking her boobs. "How silly of me, the man I love is burning to death and I am busy trying to impress an empty hall". She stopped the stupid boob thing as she quickly checked every fire extinguisher for her name.  
  
TBC. Thanks Krowl fu for faithfully reading my stories. You would tell me if my sh** sucks right? PLEASE sista, is it time to hang up my gloves (cries ace who may be ready to start her cycle too LOL) (Too much booze tonight-Southern Comfort, not JD.) 


	12. C12: Dollar Bill

Disclaimer: As with all my chapters, you must visualize the characters performing my stupid words, or you just won't get it (especially for this chapter). I am sorry if my words offend people (you know who you are) and you lose sleep over my making fun of a great show. I am sorry I missed somewhere the rules of fan fiction that state you must type only positive sappy stuff about the characters. Could someone point me to this list please? I have had one story removed from fan fiction already (of this I am proud-and yes I think my mother is too).  
  
During all this commotion Adam had gone shopping. He never got that refill from Emma, which had her wondering if he too didn't need her company anymore. Why was life so cruel?  
  
Adam knew he had to hire a bodyguard now. Several money hungry bitches at the mall attacked him. Paying a bodyguard would put a dent in his money, and like most tight-ass bosses they expect you to work your ass off for practically nothing (special shout out to my boss!). He decided he was going to have to fire one of the Mutant X members. Which one? You tell me, which one is the most useless? It isn't Shal cause they bumped her to the number one spot at the beginning credits.  
  
He could easily rip out a few chest or pubic hairs to pay the salary of the bodyguard for probably a year. Why not? He had so much damn hair it was sick. Greed that is why. Money will change a person.  
  
In the lab.  
  
Shalimar was checking the fire extinguishers in the lab for her name. Damn it, none of them had her name. She stopped to look at her roots in the big mirror in sanctuary again. She never let her roots go this long. Perhaps she would send Jesse to the supermarket for another box of mystery color mixed with her usual shade of XL1 (yes folks, I know my shades of dye. I personally prefer XL2). Gold hair would improve her value like it did for Adam. Brennan wasn't shallow, wait yes he is, and perhaps he would take her if she had money.  
  
Brennan walked into the lab naked.  
  
"Shal, thanks for having my back in there, I could of died!" he said.  
  
"Why are you naked?" Shalimar said not minding at all.  
  
"Just wanted to show you that water had shrank it - take a peak while he is dry" said Brennan.  
  
He? Oh Lord, he has a name for it.  
  
Dollar Bill aka Adam Kane .  
  
Adam walked into the lab. His wardrobe:  
  
Velvet pink shirt with bell sleeves. Only the bottom two buttons buttoned and flocks of GOLD chest hair heaping out everywhere. It was obvious he had a makeover on his chest hair. It was fluffy and shiny and even more curled.  
  
Gold velvet bell-bottoms, with a strip of pink at the base of each pant leg.  
  
Adam had got a perm on his head too; his hair was "Greg Brady" curly.  
  
His pants were XL, and his boxers stuck out totally. They were gold trim with big green dollar signs everywhere.  
  
A big top hat, I call them pimp hats. Gold again.  
  
A big $2,000 gold chain around his neck with a dollar bill sign at the base the size of your hand.  
  
A cane in his right hand, gold dollar bill sign engraved at the top.  
  
A big fat Cuban cigar in his mouth.  
  
He had all his front teeth caped with gold.  
  
A gold pager hanging from a thick gold chain attached to a belt hoop.  
  
A new tattoo that looked gang affiliated that said "Fight The Power" above one nipple.  
  
An ungodly smile.  
  
What a creep.  
  
Adams new lingo.  
  
"Yo B - check this out, letz get down to buzzness so I can brake you off a littl' somthan somthan" ????  
  
"Yo S - suck on my junk b.i.t.c.h." ???  
  
  
  
I can't carry on with this one; my spell check is going insane. I know my story is crap, I love it. TBC. 


	13. C13: Mutant X Live On!

In Shalimar's bathroom.  
  
Shalimar had put her XL1 and Jesse's mystery mix in her hair. "Show me the money," she said rubbing the formula deep into her roots. Poor Shalimar didn't realize this formula would have a different result from Adam's or the fact that Jesse just picked any box off the supermarket shelf again. This box of dye had written on the side in BOLD "GRAY HIGHLIGHTS FOR THE MATURE WOMEN".  
  
Somewhere with big houses...  
  
Adam was out looking for Ashlocke's hotties. He wanted to round them up ASAP. The sooner they were working for him, the sooner his roll of money would thicken. He was so confident this time he fired all his skanky bitches.  
  
Adam pulled along side two classy prostitutes and rolled down his window.  
  
"Yo bitches, looking for a good time tonight?" he said sticking his chest hairs out at them. "You know my chest is not the only place with GOLD," he said smiling big. One of his gold caps in his mouth sparkled as he puffed his cigar and blew the smoke into her face.  
  
"You got any smoke?" said one of the hotties sticking her head in Adam's vehicle.  
  
"Ladies, we can stop at the mini mart down the road and I will buy you a carton of smokes," Adam said extending out his hand. When it came to ladies Adam really didn't have a clue.  
  
Both sluts giggled at each other.  
  
"Tell you what, you figure out what smoke is, get some, than come back and you have a deal!" said one of the sluts backing away from the car.  
  
Adam was clueless. What was smoke? He wasn't exactly a genetic doctor who used to work for an American research facility. Perhaps some of the locals would know. Adam pulled his car over to a group of young men standing on a street corner.  
  
"Excuse me home-boys, do any of you know where I can get some smoke?" Adam said.  
  
Two of the men walked up to the car and broke into laughter looking at Adam's attire. They were going to take this fool. They sold Adam their whole bag for the night, at three times the going price. Adam just wasn't street smart. He is lucky they didn't kill his ass or rob it at that. This was an assignment for Brennan.  
  
At an expensive hotel.  
  
Adam never should of mixed business with pleasure. He remembers champagne and bubbles in the hot tub. Smoke, and lots of it. More champagne followed by emptying out the contents of the mini bar. Two very attractive ladies were running around snapping each other's bras and dancing to "Nothing But A Party".  
  
What was this smoke? He felt dizzy. Too much liquor as always.  
  
He blacked out.  
  
The next morning: Shalimar's bed.  
  
Shalimar awoke as usual. Her morning routine consisted of checking her roots for black. This morning was super-special, because she dyed her hair that night. GOLD? Lets find out. Shalimar removed the towel from her head and screamed like a tiger that had just lost her first born to some other prey.  
  
Brennan, Jesse, and Emma ran to her side.  
  
They all stood in shock at Shalimar's now gray streaked hair.  
  
Brennan laughed so hard he had to leave the room. He really has become insensitive since he has been wrapped up in his own physique. I don't know what that ego thing is about he is the only one not getting laid am I right?  
  
Jesse was the most sincere - Shalimar's hair would really lift Emma's popularity.  
  
"Oh come on Shalimar, now you look more your age" gagged Emma.  
  
"I think you look HOT!" said Jesse. "Kind-of like that genie in a bottle gal!"  
  
"You guys really think so?"  
  
A choir of "Oh yeah, absolutely" and "far out" came her way.  
  
Jesse grabbed Brennan's arm on the way out. "Sleep with her Brennan, make her feel good about herself".  
  
"Let go of my arm man before I hurt you. Sleeping with her would be like sleeping with my grandmother" Brennan spat as Shalimar walked out of the bathroom and ran to her bed in tears from Brennan's hateful words.  
  
"Shal, I didn't mean it baby" Brennan said.  
  
Turning to Jesse "Fine, I will take one for the team, you owe me lunch though!" Brennan said following after Shalimar.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Adam woke up naked in his king-sized bed, alone! Where were the hotties? His plan was to treat them to breakfast and lay out his business proposal. Adam looked around frantically. He noticed several things were missing, his cane, his jewelry, his pager, his money clip, his money, his smoke, the curtains, the lamps, the bath robes, this list is getting long he was going to have to take an inventory.  
  
As he lifted the sheet off his body, he noticed a wet spot on the bed. Not again.  
  
It was unusually chilly this morning. Adam staggered over to the sink and rinsed his face with cold water. When he looked in the mirror he fell to his knees in tears.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Pawn Shop.Ashlocke's hotties.  
  
"Can I help you miss?"  
  
"Yes, I would like to pawn all of this sh**. Do you take GOLD hair?"  
  
In the lab .  
  
Adam walked all the way back to sanctuary. He was going to have to tie up lose ends at the hotel. He walked out without paying his tab. He couldn't get Shalimar or Brennan on their COM links, hmm wonder why.  
  
In the kitchen.  
  
Jesse stumbled into the kitchen looking sad. Emma was cooking up one hell of a breakfast, bacon, eggs, pancakes, etc. After one look at Shalimar she didn't feel fat anymore and was going to eat as much as possible and not throw it up either.  
  
"How was your date Jesse?" asked Emma while still humming all psychotically under her breath.  
  
"It sucked. Loclita said I talked about you too much and it turned her off," said Jesse.  
  
"No chance for a second date?" asked Emma.  
  
"Nope, afraid not" slumped Jesse into the chair.  
  
"You know Jesse, you have never properly asked me out on a date!" said Emma.  
  
"Would you say yes?" Jesse said perking up.  
  
"No, I would say no!" Emma said wrapping her arms around him and kissing him on the lips. (AHHHH! I do have a heart-excuse me I feel breakfast coming back up!)  
  
In the lab.  
  
Adam pulled out a bottle of Southern Comfort and sniffed it. It was because of this he lost all hopes in owning Ashlocke's hotties and gave up his skanks. It was over. He tossed the bottle into the garbage can and announced a meeting in the lab in ten minutes. Emma suggested holding the meeting over the feast she had cooked up, sounded good to all.  
  
Brennan and Shalimar played with each other's feet under the table. Brennan had always thought his Grandma Mulwray was hot, he actually got to live out a fantasy he had for a very, very long time.  
  
Adam was back in his usually crappy clothes. This time zero chest hairs were hanging out. I truly believe Ashlocke's hotties did us all a great favor my plucking that forest off. However, his nose and ear hairs are starting to get to me.  
  
Adam mumbled and bitched for a half hour about Ashlocke and his hotties. No one cared. Emma had just started her monthly cycle and all this complaining flipped her switch.  
  
"Adam, you have to admit - Ashlocke is a hottie himself. He looks good, I mean in a creepy sort-of-way. You Adam are just creepy, in a good sort-of- way" Emma shut up and continued shoveling in food.  
  
Adam announced that Mutant X members would all have to get jobs (hmm, maybe find out were they get jobs in my next story). A series of bitches and moans escaped their mouths.  
  
"Get a job?" Adam!  
  
"I know, I know, listen it is for your own good. I am running an experiment on Mutants and how working affects their behavior. It is top secret and I would be honored if you all would help me with this assignment."  
  
Damn he was good manipulating them all once again.  
  
Adam excused himself back to the lab to get a "head-start" on his new "experiment". The moment he hit the lab he removed the bottle of whiskey from the trash and took a big swig that knocked out half the bottle.  
  
"Those damn mutants are so retarded" he said laughing non-stop evil style till the camera cut out.  
  
XXXTHE ENDXXX 


End file.
